Why He Won’t Call
By Darryl James of Eur Report
original article-Aug 08, 2006
Women are always asking me what men are thinking.
Some of us have good intentions, some have bad intentions and some of us just get caught up with this thing called life.
In another Black Top Ten List, Id like to present a few possible reasons why men dont call women or dont call women back after interest has been expressed.
Maybe you only shared one phone conversation. Perhaps you only went out one time and there was no chemistry. Women do the same thingsometimes its just not worth the energy required to explain something to someone you dont plan on seeing again.
2. He thought about something you said and decided that you and he think too divergently.
If you had a conversation about politics, religion or some other hot button topic that just didnt go well, perhaps he has decided that he doesnt want more of the same.
3 Hes a little shy and is trying to figure out what to say.
Some women question a mans manhood if he is shy, but the reality is that some of us are, and sometimes, we have trouble finding the right thing to say, or finding something to say at what you consider the right time.
6. He met someone else and decided to give his focus to her.
This doesnt mean that he is a dog for dating more than one woman. It simply means that he was getting to know more than one woman and decided to narrow the field. You just werent included in the narrowed field.
7. Something in his life changed which has nothing to do with you.
Were all human. Sometimes, things come up in our lives that take us away from socializing at all.
8. He has been too busy and hasnt gotten around to calling you.
Maybe your idea of how soon he should call is different from his idea. If you think he has taken too long and your phone isnt broken, perhaps you should call him.
9. You spent most of the time on the first date or on the phone telling him how horrible men are, especially the men you have dated in your past.
You may have said that there are no good men available, but even if he is a good man, the statement is a turnoff. For example, we dont want to hear about how all men are dogs, or about “most” Black men being with white women or on the down low, or how “most” men are not on your level. If he isnt like the horrible men youve talked about, he probably has no desire to convince you that good men really exist.
10. He was looking for someone to share his life with, but you demonstrated that you dont share much, especially the expenses when you were going out.
Whether you tell a man that you are an “Independent Woman,” or an “Old Fashioned Woman,” its just not cool to refuse to share when you are dating. It can get tiresome, boring and stupid when a man has to wine and dine, entertain, chauffeur and shower a woman with gifts without reciprocity. No one has come up with a good reason why the man has to pay for everythingwe like to be treated nice, too.
Just as you want men who love and respect women, we are looking for women who love and respect men. We want someone who listens, shares, views us with hope and who demonstrates character.
Some women love to tell men the reasons why we exhibit a certain behavior. Many times, those reasons are wrong and the women touting those lies have no desire to get the real information.
Ladies, some of us are open and honest. Ask a question and you may actually get an answereven if its an answer you dont want or wont like.
The reason why we dont call or call back is not always about what you think it is.
At the end of the day, you have to decide if you like him or not. If you do, perhaps you should make certain that you also have his number so that you can call him. If you dont, then you should stop worrying about why he doesnt call.
Darryl James is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. His first mini-movie, “Crack,” was released in March of this year. James latest book, “Bridging The Black Gender Gap,” is the basis of his lectures and seminars. Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com. James can be reached at djames@theblackgendergap.com.