Thembisa Mshaka: Forgiving Chris Brown

Forgiving Chris Brown: Re-post & Update

By Thembisa Mshaka

Peep the Breakdown FM podcast we did with Thembisa on this topic http://bit.ly/axcjDL

I am on record as being one who advocated for the forgiveness of the multi-talented, multi-platinum Chris Brown as far back as February 2009, when the most media and much of the public wanted to banish and boycott him forever. His missteps with the media in the aftermath turned the fury way up, as he looked far from remorseful—especially in contrast to Rihanna’s composed, deliberate testimony on 20/20. I understand the fury; I was furious about his assault of Rihanna on Grammy Night 2009 too.

But this rigid, visceral approach to such a layered issue is neither humane nor realistic. Endless castigation does not break the cycle of relationship violence. If we want young men, especially young men of color, to stop abusing women, we must condemn the behavior, and support the full rehabilitation of the person. Ron Artest has shown us that therapy can help anyone rise to become a champion in work and in life. Chris must seek help from psychological professionals, spiritual counselors, and anger management experts. Chris is going to be atoning and reconciling for years to come. That process is well underway.

The part we as consumers, fans, and members of the media can support him with is the revitalization of his career. Chris Brown is a gifted young performer who deserves to make a living at what he is passionate about. BET provided Chris Brown with the opportunity of a lifetime on the 2010 BET Awards: to pay homage to his mentor Michael Jackson with a powerful medley of the King of Pop’s hit songs and signature dance routines. True to form, the media looked for the worst from a heartfelt and otherwise technically flawless performance–until the part where Chris broke down emotionally in an effort to sing “Man In The Mirror”. His sincerity was questioned. His tears, snot and hoarse voice were called ‘staged’. Just another signal that the path of least resistance, further vilification of the young Black male, was being tread yet again. A brother can’t even emote!

But the audience on their feet at the Shrine and millions on couches across America knew that what he was feeling was very real: the overwhelm of Michael passing and finally being able to commemorate his idol’s life; the passage of the hardest of his own 21 years; the energy of the room singing when he could not, crying with him, releasing with him. This is what it means to be human. This collective catharsis was an important step in the healing process for everyone who empathizes with Chris and wishes him well. It’s exactly why that moment was the one everyone was talking about the morning after and well into this week.

The crime will not be forgotten, but the man needs to be forgiven.

We say we want him to take a look at himself and make a change; change is hard. Let him do it.

I’ve re-posted my essence.com commentary for reference. I look forward to your comments.

As posted by essence.com July 24, 2009

Thembisa S. Mshaka

This past February, Chris Brown shocked the world. In the wee morning hours of the Grammy Awards, he brutally assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna. On June 22, 2009, Chris Brown pled guilty. The judge handed him his sentence, convicting Brown of felony assault, mandating him to keep his distance from Rihanna (50 yards for five years), and to serve 5 years of probation including 180 days of community labor. Brown was also ordered to enroll in a domestic violence counseling program. Brown’s face registered remorse and relief that day in court; looked like it dawned on him how close he came to prison time. But was he truly sorry?

It was hard to tell. Brown’s camp released a tepid statement: “Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person.” Meanwhile photos of the 19-year-old partying hard in Miami contrasted those of a sorrowful Rihanna in the days that followed. His silence was as palpable as his absence from television and radio. Suddenly the freckle-faced crooner resurfaced and sent a video message to the world while bowling with rapper Bow Wow on May 26: “I’m not a monster… I got a new album droppin’.” Five months after his love quarrel-gone-awry, Brown released another video apologizing: “I take great pride in me being able to exercise self-control and what I did was inexcusable.”

Was his gesture too little too late? Not only for his victim, Rihanna, but for his fans and critics? I conducted an informal poll on Facebook and Twitter. While the media was castigating him, I blogged [hyperlink to original post here] back in February that the public was too quick to dismiss him and predict his career’s end. That compassionate condemnation was in order, not excommunication.

Perhaps the apology is a hard pill to swallow because Brown seemed so cavalier after the debacle. Judging by the many responses I received, I gleaned that his silence, while understandable at the advice of counsel, allowed the negative perception of this young man to fester into the selling of T-shirts emblazoned with his image and a striking slash through his face and dubbing his namesake a slang term synonymous with a “beat down” as in “Don’t get Chris Brown-ed.”

The Twitterverse had much to say about Brown’s remorse. “Why not release the video the day after the verdict?” asked one Tweeter. Another said Brown’s apology would have been deemed more sincere and set a strong example to his young fans about facing consequences if he’d done so immediately after the final verdict. Some believe his public remorse opens the door for fans to begin liking him again with one female tweeter professing: “Chris Brown, I love you more than ever.” But it was a male respondent who expressed the optimism that forgiveness should render: “He’s young enough to change.”

Sure, the execution could have been tighter, but I challenge anyone to recall an apology that felt smooth as silk following an egregious action. Taking a slice of humble pie and expressing remorse is usually awkward and delayed, requiring time. Reconciliation takes patience and work and Brown has taken his first step. Some might argue that Brown’s timing is off, but I believe an apology has no expiration date. Brown deserves forgiveness. What if Chris Brown was your son, nephew or brother? Assuming a zero-tolerance policy on abuse is fine, but judging someone unfairly and withholding support can interfere or jeopardize the healing process and ultimately redemption. We can stand against violence by looking its perpetrators in the eye and demand that they be and do better, but remember, it’s never too late to choose forgiveness over judgment.

Thembisa S. Mshaka is a 17-year entertainment industry veteran and author of the mentorship and career guide, Put Your Dreams First: Handle Your [entertainment] Business

Video of Gucci Mane Punching Out a Female Resurfaces-Was this Incident ever Resolved?

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As many of y’all know popular Atlanta rapper Gucci Mane was sentenced to 12 months for parole violation. It comes on the eve of his highly anticipated album being released. His arrest and him testing positive for drugs has left many wondering, how and why someone who has so much going for him and has apparently overcome alot would get caught up and be dragged back into the prison system.  

Over the past few months Gucci Mane has emerged as an important voice for a generation as he’s been prominently featured on everything ranging from the BET Awards and in videos and songs with the Black Eyed Peas, Usher, 50 cent and Maria Carey to name a few. Its been reported that he’s been able to command 64k a show and has been able to get that 4 nights a week.

While Gucci Mane has been dealing with all this, whats been surfacing or resurfacing depending on how long you been follwing Gucci Mane is a video of him punching out a sister. From what I gather the tape popped up earlier this year and it shows an annoyed Gucci punching out his former rhyme partner and according to reports, former lover Mac Breezy who is featured on his debut album “Go Head”. Its pretty disturbing and later shows Mac Breezy trying to shrug it off like it was no big thing..

For some this will not come as a surprise because of Gucci’s persona and rough and rugged reputation, but  for many others its new and raises alot of  question including, how was this issue resolved  and if it wasn’t what’s the justification for all the mainstream promotion?  For example, BET gave Gucci lots of love during their recent Hip Hop Award show. He was featured in 4 performances.  It was just a few months ago that came under fire  when they featured Lil Wayne and Drake doing what many considered an inappropriate raunchy adult themed song while trotting young girls who looked like they were no older than 12 or 13 across the stage. BET back pedaled and removed the performance in later showings.

But after all the anger that was expressed, they gave prominent performance spots to Gucci Mane. How have outlets who have promoted and are riding hard for him reconciled this? Does it need to be reconciled?

I ask this because when Gucci Mane performed on the BET Awards, he was featured in a Public Service Announcement talking about how its wrong to do drugs… Perhaps he should’ve been doing one that says ‘It’s wrong to hit women’… maybe that might be the more appropriate response at a day and time where we had a gang rape of a 15-year-old girl while people stood around, watched, cheered took pictures and did not call authorities for 2 and half hours.   

This comes at a time when just yesterday it was reported that a young Bay Area woman and her infant were killed by an ex boyfriend was just let out of jail for the murder of another child 15 years earlier..

This is not to say Gucci Mane doesn’t deserve second chances or people can’t redeem themselves etc, but when you see so many artists doing the hard work of addressing and trying to eradicate these pressing issues, can’t get any love whatsoever, not even a mention one many of these outlets, one has to wonder why the constant love and upliftment of folks who did wrong and in Gucci’s case since he violated parole and has been sentenced to a year in jail, continue to do wrong..

something to ponder

Davey D

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Filmmaker Byron Hurt’s Open letter to Debra Lee & BET

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I wrote this letter and sent it to contactus@bet.com, bobbette.gillette@bet.net, loretha.jones@bet.net, and stephen.hill@bet.net.
Feel free to copy, paste, and customize this letter to adequately express your thoughts. If anyone has better ideas on where this letter should be sent, i.e. executives at Viacom (BET’s owner), please let me know. I am open to ideas and suggestions.
Be fearless, feel empowered, and raise your voice.

-Byron Hurt-
 
June 29, 2009

Dear Debra Lee,

Sunday night’s BET Awards show was a disgrace. It’s sad and unfortunate that your network, owned by Viacom, continues to crank out mediocrity and perpetuate negative stereotypes of black men, women, and children. Although you likely received high ratings for the awards show, there is no honor in reinforcing the status quo’s opinion of black people. Your tribute to Michael Jackson and the overall show had its great moments, however, BET failed to deliver a solid, quality show. Rather than “raising the bar” and presenting African-Americans as a creative, proud, dignified people, BET lowered the bar for the entire world to see. The BET Awards drew a huge audience to watch a tribute to Michael Jackson, but left millions of viewers feeling disappointed, embarrassed, and reduced to classic stereotypes.

During the most blatantly sexist performances of the night, the executives at BET failed to act and display intelligence, courage, and leadership. Show executives watched, approved, and applauded as artists Lil’ Wayne, Drake, and Cash Money brought young, under-aged girls onto the stage to dance and serve as window dressing while they performed “Every Girl,” a song that reduces girls and women to sex objects. In a culture where one out of four girls and women are either raped or sexually assaulted – and where manipulative men routinely traffic vulnerable women into the sex industry – it is not okay that BET allowed this to happen. BET owes its entire audience – particularly girls and women around the world – an apology for its failure to intervene. BET should also take immediate steps to ensure that this kind of sexist performance does not happen again. Sunday night’s show epitomizes why so many black people worldwide are fed up with BET and feel strongly that your network inaccurately represents black men and women.

Please take my letter and criticism as one that represents millions.

Sincerely,
Byron Hurt
www.bhurt.com

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