What Do Women Want? Thug or Scholar? Nice Guy or Dog?

Here’s a video thats been making the rounds generating a lot of conversation.  Its focuses in on the confusing nature of what women want in a man these days..They want independence but want you to pay bills. They want you to be nice, but somewhat thuggish.. You’ll get the point in this video called Black Marriage Negotiations


Here’s a blog response from Doorknockers to this video


Return to Davey D’s Hip Hop Corner


  1. We must admit that each woman is different. Yet there is a general womanly desire for a “thuggish” male, bad boy type, “rude boy”, dark and/or mysterious type. I’m aware of countless stories of the religious female who was seeing a “christian” guy and not giving him anything while letting a “bad boy” climb through her window at night and doing all kinds of “ungodly” things. I’m also aware of the female who’s quite conservative until she meets a “bad boy” at a club. She goes from “no” to “super hoe (sorry had to use “hoe” because it rhymed) in ten minutes flat. The “thug” dude pulled the freak out of her. Real people know what I’m talkin bout and that I’m not lying.

    So yes. Many women will always prefer the “bad boy” type over the good guy type.

    She will “bitch”, cry and complain when the bad boy hurts her in one way or another, but she will generally often prefer him over the “good guy” type. That’s just the way it is and probably is gonna be.

    So men are placed in a dilema. Do I grow up and be a man, or do I keep “boppin” around her like some “tough guy” to impress or get women?

    That’s a hard situation to consider. We must add that it was racism that taught black women to discredit black men. For the most part they are subconsciously trained to beat a n-word down whether he’s a bad boy or good boy. This is a training that slavery embedded in black women. Don’t be mad at me, just study your history.

    I’ve given you our background information. It is now time to talk about my younger sister who is an African American (Black) woman and the plight of modern plight of the African American (Black) male.

    Now some women (and some men) may presently be upset with my openess. I challenge you to read on as the Truth will most definitely set many of you FREE (John 8:32).

    In my opinion a woman is the most beautiful thing God created. How many of your male readers saw the change in a female when she began attending college and studying. To see her goals, actions and desires change is amazingly! Education does enlighten. It’s also a wonderful thing to see a girl grow from youth, to teenage years to young adulthood.

    A man who has the patience can often win such a female over. Was it Tommy Davidson and Jada Pinkett’s movie that proved this point? But to be totally honest, most men don’t have the patience to travel with a female through her growing experience. Many black males have been beatened, physically, emotionally and/or financially abandoned since their earliest childhood. Who knows LL Cool J’s real story? There’s a reason why LL wrote “I Need Love”. That song goes much deeper than a young man looking for love. This country has always deprived the African descendant from such love. You see gangsterism, you see a call for love. What did Ice Tea say? Ice said, “I got down with gangs cause they were the only ones who gave a sh*t about me”.

    So most African American men don’t have the emotional stability needed to grow with a female to stability. Many black men connect with white women. Opposities attract. A Caucasian may want to be “down”. That’s their ticket in. In many cases it is true love. I think true love in any fashion is beautiful and heaven sent.

    I learned a long time ago that the Black man has got to want more than this life offers him. If a person is not going to help me ascend, then I have no choice but to cut them off. KRS-1 sang, “yea the girl looks so good, but her mind is not ready”. So as a Black man I put my trust in God, place my foot forward and attempt to “two” step. I’m personally very tired of adult people who refuse to emotionally grow up. Jay-Z rapped a rhyme where he told a female that she was acting like she was still in high school. A Black man who wants stability has got to move on. It’s a natural procession. He would do a disservice to himself to allow anyone to hold him back.

    Now let’s talk about my younger African American (Black) sister. Yea, she was strongly attracted to them “bad boys”. I saw how this one “thug” had her under some type of hypnotized attraction. It was crazy. All I could think of was “waitin for the day to get squeezed.” She caught the vapors (Spit the Truth with your mouth, Biz).

    My sister ended up with a thug named Corey. I like Corey. He really was thug. He and I saw eye to eye together. I learned a long time ago that I couldn’t fight my sisters’ battles. If they made dum decision, they would need to learn go grow up and think differently. I used to chase them boys away, but the same dudes would be back in the spot the very next day. So if you dum enough to let a man beat your ass, then so be it. Don’t blame me. I get my “mean” streak from my mother. When I act like my mother, everyone tells me that I’m mean. It’s tough love. And believe me the strong do survive!

    My younger sister finally wise up and gave a nice guy a chance. Yea, she repeatedly broke his heart until he started breaking her. Ironically, that’s what it took to get my sister to grow the f**k up.

    They are now married with a beautiful family. They still have issues, but again, that is their business. They have to work those things out themselves.

    So we can keep talking about black women, desires for bad boy types, white women, or black men.

    But until we talk about growing up and making adult decisions based on logical thought, we will never address the REAL problem(s) (John 8:32).

    This article can be freely utilized and/or edited and was written by G-CooL~

  2. My head’s about to explode! Good thing I’m single. lol

  3. Most women don’t know what they want until they have had a nice guy. Then turn around and get a thug. Mostly women want is time. Time tells all if u take a minute and put some real thought its men that make the women not the other way around. Women seem to let the guard down to see what they feel. We just want to feel them in the bed first. That’s why we set the way. I’m a nice guy but I also have my old street ways so its like playing both sides of the field. I have experience all types of races to me they are all the same. Everyone wants time

  4. I’m through trying to decipher some of these women.

  5. flavorblade says:


  6. @1618 i think that was the best comment i’ve heard! i agree women dont know what they want until they had a nice guy.I’m 17 years old i keep my head in the books im a peace maker i CAN fight when i have to walk away from the unnecessary stuff (fights/violence) its girls i really like although we dont share common intrest (gamer/otaku/mild outsider) it tears me up to know they would choose a really dumb nigga over a smart decent black man? this question has bothered me since I was 13 “why they love those kind?” fights break out niggas encourage you to fight…(dumbasses) obviously they go over to the darkside -_-. however the years i spunt at a suburban area i have NEVER seen black women so gorgeous so smart AND isn’t afraid to want a black man that is smart.etc relationships up there wasn’t to deep about being depended..such n such its just a matter of loving that person making a relationship work.. some dependability was needed. In theye end im not saying that all girls from where i live are bad because….

  7. There ARE intelligent girls my age (im talking a lot in older women now) but they don’t know what they are gettin into when they talk to the hood niggas.. get you jammed up and don’t wanna take care of your kids (a few do) someone mail me back about this. A girl i could like i will give you details n her and give me useful information please…thank-you. i don’t need fortune telling just another opion.