Throw Your P’s Up. Pork-Lovers Unite
by Davey D
As I write this, I’m sure that there are legions of good natured God Loving folks who’ve had this or similar incidents happen to them. So the other day I rolled up to Howard University to see my homie Dr Jared Ball give the keynote at the Pan African conference. It was a festive affair and they were serving dinner. I head on up to the buffet line and I see some mac and cheese and some good smelling links smothered with tangy barbecue sauce. I remember telling Jared this is the lick and that I was hella hungry. I hadn’t eaten all day. I got me an extra helping of links went back to my table and got ready to dig in. I put some sauce on the mac and cheese and bite into it. I remember saying to myself,…mmmm delicious. With my mouth watering in anticipation I bite into the links and started chewing and chewing and chewing some more. Something wasn’t right. I thought maybe I had a bad link. So I politely spit the chewed morsels into my napkin and bit into another link. I could taste the tangy sauce, my mouth was still watering, yet these links didn’t have that familiar feel. It looked like links, smelled like links, but they weren’t links.
So as I chewed, the cat next to me saw me squinching my face, so I told him; ‘Yo kid, something wrong with these links’.
His reply; ‘Oh no my Brother, nothing’s wrong. What you’re eating is delicious wheat based gluton something or other… This is healthy for you. It’s better than pork’
Now I didn’t wanna be rude and disrupt the important work going on at the Pan African Festival. Folks were hard at work all week trying to find ways to uplift the motherland. and figure out ways to fight oppression. I didn’t wanna intrude on all that with my sausage complaints, but nevertheless, I was sitting there steaming and thinking to myself; ‘Aaaah Hell Naaaw. These ain’t real sausages. If people don’t like pork why make food that looks like and smells like pork but ain’t pork?’
That’s like me taking folks at that conference to a strip club, they get inside and all the dancers are wearing oversized coats and baggy clothes. Imagine that happening and me turning to these folks and going; ‘Hey folks forget the butt nakedness, let’s admire their athleticism and the way they can do backflips and headstands while swinging on the pole.’
Such a move might evoke anger and disappointment. Yes, one could appreciate the physical abilities, but that’s not what was suggested. It said strip club, not athletic contest. The food I saw said links, not wheat gluton. Ya feel me?
So anyway I digressed a bit and maybe the strip club analogy is a bit over the top but you get the point. Back to the Pan African dinner. Everyone at the table was looking at me, with broad smiles. They had looks of accomplishments. They seemed satisfied that they had used subversive tactics to snare another ‘swine lover’. They looked at me as if to say; ‘Black man, it won’t be long before you’re eating tofu and bird seeds like the rest of us.’
I didn’t say anything. I kept myself in check. I kept the peace. I respected the people around me and plus I was out numbered and out muscled. I was surrounded by what Oakland rapper Azeem once described as ‘Organic Revolutionaries‘. I was trapped. I was a prisoner. I couldn’t offend no one. Dr Ball who was still at the table is big guy. The cat next to him look like he was deep into some sort of martial arts. The elder sista across from me gave me that piercing look like the one my mom would give; ‘Boy I know you’re gonna eat everything on your plate’
So I stayed cool and begrudgingly ate these fake links. I slowly chewed- bite by bite. Everyone smiled. I smiled back, but that night at 6:05pm East Coast time.. Howard University, Blackburn Hall. I made a note to myself and silently Declared War.
It was time to draw the proverbial line in the sand. It was time to ride for the ‘other white meat’. Time to break free of the harsh stares and well meaning lectures about my pork consumption. Time to take on the Organic Revolutionaries. Time for Porky to get his shine.
Yes, I said it. I know people are shocked, floored & flabbergasted. There are some who will go WTF? But let’s be honest, all of us were pork eaters at one time or another. Our grand parents ate pork? Our great grand parents ate pork. Don’t act like you’ll didn’t enjoy a Sunday dinner with some juicy pork chops or a holiday feast with some scrumptious glazed ham. Don’t act like I’m by myself on this.
Some of y’all reading this come from cultures that deeply engaged pork eating. Pork has been with you since the dawn of time. I been to family outtings and picnics where the entire pig is being cooked and everyone eats with no problem. Can we say Hawaii? Can we say the Philipines? Can you say Soul Food Mississippi style? Georgia style? Lousianna style? Can we say Memphis barbecue? Let’s not forget our roots… Where did all the ‘I hate pork’ righteousness come from? This is not who we are as a people!
Over the years I’ve endured having to patiently stand by why some of y’all drove all over a city looking for the one place in the middle of nowhere that didn’t serve pork. I had to bite my tongue over the years while some y’all jammed up waiters and waitresses at restaurants demanding to know if the food was cooked in or even slightly tainted by ‘the evil swine’. Y’all mean to tell me that not one of y’all who are part of the Organic Revolutionary crowd have never ever touched pork rinds? Come on now I find it hard to believe?
The other night I had to endure a verbal lashing from Paradise of X-Clan and Baltimore rapper Omar Akbar. They came armed with their Organic Revolutionary gear and went on and on and on about how we should all eat leafy vegetables and fish. I stood my ground and told them. ‘I ain’t no damn vegan’. I ain’t no damn bird. I’m a proud pork eater. I come from a long line of pork eaters. I will not be swayed’.
Frustrated the two huddled up and tried to regroup, than in typical Organic Revolutionary fashion Paradise started making Reverend Porkchop jokes..Thats how those people do when they can’t knock you off your square, they make fun of your religion. They know that Sunday Brunch is sacred and pork is always on the menu..But I held it down for my people and rebuffed the aggression. Nat Turner was a pork eater so was Dr Martin Luther King. We all know there had to be some pork at the Last Supper. Good enough for them. Good enough for me.
Right now it’s time for us pork eaters to unite and raise up against the so called ‘healthy eating crowd’. We’re not swine-lovers. We don’t have parasites. We don’t have bad health. I’ve seen some over-weight pasta eaters. I seen some outta shape vegetarians. Last night I was at the airport watching this 300 pound man munching away on an apple and a bag of nuts. He looked unhappy. I felt like telling him; ‘Dude, let the nuts go. Get with the porkchops. Life is too short, be happy. I’ve heard of people embracing the so called healthy eating lifestyle dropping off at young age. And I seen folks going well into their 90s alive and kicking still eating pork.
Did you know the smartest animal in the barn is the pig. It’s smarter than a cow, smarter then a hen, smarter than a horse and smarter then the nuts, berries and tofu many of you Organic types keep shoving at us. Do you know in some ancient culture’s like Ireland the pig is sacred? Do you know that pig skin is what footballs are made of? Funny how all these Organic Revolutionaries let that little fact go out the window when preaching about the harms of Porky..mmmmm
In closing it’s time for us pork lover to stand up for Porky and throw up up our P’s Pork Chops fo’ Life.. Pork Power Y’all.
PS I’ve included an an article that espouses the benefits of pork.
The Benefits of Pork-The Other White Meat
As a key ingredient in Better Sausages™ , pork plays an important role in delivering on our promise of “Better Taste” and “Better Health”. Better Foods™ began with hand cut lean pork to ensure our sausages have that mouth-watering taste you expect from the finest bistro. Like many foods, pork, in moderation provides many health benefits. Better Foods™ sausages provide the perfect balance of pork and soy to provide this moderation, delivering on both “Better Taste” and “Better Health”.
So why pork?
Pork contains many of the nutrients recommended to build and maintain a healthy body, including six essential vitamins, four important minerals, protein and energy. Pork contains Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Pantothenate, Phosphorus, Magnisiu, Iron and Zinc and is a good source of complete protein.
Pork and Nutrition | www.porkpeople.com
Pork is much slimmer and trimmer than days past, but remains delicious and packed with many of the vitamins and minerals required for healthy living.
Thiamin (Vitamin B1):
One of the best sources of thiamin is pork. Thiamin is necessary for the metabolism of carbohydrates. It’s also essential for the growth and repair of nerve and muscle tissues and helps maintain appetite.
Riboflavin (Vitamin B2):
Pork rivals milk as your best source of riboflavin. Riboflavin plays an essential role in the release of energy from food and in cell division. This vitamin also promotes the growth and repair of tissues and maintains healthy skin and eyes.
Niacin (Vitamin B3):
Pork is chock-full of niacin, which is essential for the release of energy from carbohydrates, proteins and fats. It’s also required to maintain healthy skin, the digestive tract and nervous system.
Pork is a good source of vitamin B6, which is essential for the metabolism of protein, carbohydrate and fat. Vitamin B6 also promotes normal functioning of the central nervous system.
Pork is an excellent source of vitamin B12, which is only found in animal products. Vitamin B12 helps build red blood cells and ensures healthy nervous tissue. it is essential for the normal function and metabolism of all cells, and is also involved in the synthesis of genetic material.
Pantothenate is necessary for the metabolism of carbohydrate, fat and protein. Pantothenate is also required to synthesize hemoglobin, the part of red blood cells that transports oxygen and carbon dioxide.
Pork is a good source of phosphorus, which strengthens bones and teeth and maintains energy balance.
Magnesium is essential for the formation of strong bones and teeth. It also transports nutrients in the body and regulates energy balance.
Iron allows for optimal physical and mental performance. Iron is critical for energy production. Heme iron (found in meat) is absorbed more readily than non-heme iron (found in vegetables, breads, cereals, fruits, eggs and supplements.
Pork is rich in zinc, which is essential for the healthy development and maintenance of the immune system and bone structure. Adequate zinc status improves resistance to infections, enhances bone formation in children and young adults, and appears to protect against bone loss in older adults.